frequent sex

  1. Sex makes people happy

    A good meal, a little spending money, and a night of passion -- any one of those things would be enough to make most people happy... especially that last one.

    You might overeat and feel horrible afterwards... and it's easy to spend all your money. But you just can't overdo it when it comes to sex -- and all you need is a willing partner and working parts.

    Now, a new survey confirms what most of us already know: People who have more frequent sex are happier, and that's especially true of seniors.

    The survey of 238 married seniors found that 60 percent of those who had sex more than once a month were "very happy with life in general," versus just 40 percent of those who had no sex at all over the past year.

    What's more, 80 percent of those who had sex more than once a month were happy with their marriages -- and I hope everyone reading this falls into that category.

    The only catch here is that some people have a hard time keeping up in the bedroom once they reach their later years -- and that's especially true of men.

    Sometimes, the mind is willing... but the parts just aren't up to the task.

    Don't be fooled by all those TV commercials -- the best way to fix this isn't with a penis pill. In fact, that's actually the worst possible solution: Sex meds like Viagra and Cialis have been linked to vision problems, hearing loss, headaches, breathing problems and more -- including painful erections that require a trip to the ER to correct.

    In many cases, erection problems are linked to obesity -- so if you've put on a few pounds over the years, lose the weight now... and watch your sex life return.

    Other men may simply need a boost in testosterone, the male hormone that drops off naturally after middle age -- leading to dips in vitality, sexual function and more.

    A naturopathic physician can get you back on track with natural hormones. And that, in turn, can improve both your marriage and your overall happiness.

  2. Deciphering the language of love

    Most couples think love is best expressed in three words... and they're not "bring home beer."

    Studies have found that one possible key to a great relationship isn't the number of times people say "I love you" to each other, but their choice of pronouns. Couples who use words like "we," "us" and "ours" to describe themselves and their belongings are generally more satisfied than those who say "I," "me" and "mine."

    The latest study, published in Psychology and Aging, says the "we" folk even handle stress during disagreements better than the "me" people.

    Researchers looked at 154 couples--all middle aged or older--and had them air their grievances for 15 minutes.

    Must have been a pleasant room.

    The researchers found that people who used words like "we" had better heart rates and blood pressure during these disagreements. They were calmer. And based on questionnaires they also filled out, they were on the whole more satisfied with their marriage than those who used words like "I" and "mine."

    It's a cute study... but let's not get too carried away. Your relationship is about how you treat each other--and while the words you choose may offer a glimpse into how you think of each other and how well you solve problems together, there's also such a thing as reading too deeply into these little cues.

    Getting back to the story I told you about earlier, sex can play as big or role--or bigger--than your word choice in your marital health as well as your personal health.

    Studies have found sex even tops money when it comes to overall happiness. One 2004 study found that frequent sex can have the same impact on happiness as $100,000, and that increasing sex from once a month to once a week is like getting another $50,000--at least as far as happiness is concerned. I don't think they accept sexual satisfaction at the bank.

    Yet in response to the new study, some people are already working on the language they use rather than the substance of their marriage. One couple profiled on MSNBC is practicing saying "we" instead of "me."

    But really, at the end of the day the issue isn't whether you ask "How happy am I?" or "How happy are we?"

    It's how you answer that question together that will ultimately show what your marital bonds are really made of.


    Love's language: Couples who say 'we' happier

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